Today a lady was talking about how her baby gets called tiny and skinny a lot. This bothers her because her son has feeding issues and she has tried everything to get him to eat what others would call "normal" amounts. When she hears others talk about how her child is smaller than others it makes her feel guilty, like she isn't doing the right things, which is not at all true.
I on the other hand with Aleigh would get "oh you have such a big baby", "my how old is HE? HE looks huge for his age", "oh boy she is healthy, I bet she likes to eat". The list could go on and on really.
One time I even had a group of ladies walk by and one loudly decided to say "that is the fattest baby I have ever seen" she was immediately hit in the arm and shushed by her friends. None the less Jake and I both heard. We wanted to jump her and retort back some rude comments about how chubby she was herself. Trying to be the bigger person I kept walking, and have since forgiven.
Society these days makes moms worry and feel awful about the amazing job they are doing. The majority thinks they are better than the other person, or they just think they can "fix" it all.
The list can go on and on about subject matter that keeps moms up all night long.
Attachment parenting vs. what detached? (As if the opposite is what any good mom would want). Oh but wait a sec. you do want them to learn to do things on their own or they will never get anywhere in life.
Cosleeping vs. Making them sleep in their own cold dark beds. But wait a second some say cosleeping is risky as their is a greater risk of SIDS. Plus you once again hear horror stories of your teenagers wanting to still sleep in your bed.
Cry it out vs. a million other methods to get your child to sleep. The glorious nights of 8+ hours of peaceful sleep. This is what everyone dreams of and everyone thinks their method of getting there is right and the other is way way wrong.
Breastfeeding vs. Formula. Women and Dr's make it seem like if you don't breastfeed your baby you are a failure as a mother and your baby is going to end up with an awful immune system and will be obese! Formula feeding moms, this is NOT true, do some research. Don't feel bad about doing what is best for yourself and your baby by giving formula. I say it is a gift from God and my kids are as healthy as can be. I was a much better mom once I gave up breastfeeding as I was depressed, stressed and in the worst pain of my life trying to breastfeed and this was from a mom who gave birth to 2 kids epidural free.
Stay at home mom vs. working mom. Just stop ladies, stop with the judgements. Just know you are each doing your absolute best to raise your kids the best way you know how.
Child spacing is another one. My kids as you probably already know are 363 days apart. People just think they can talk to you and give you advice on how to space out your kids age. I thought this was all up to God? Apparently not. I have talked to some who would love to have their kids close in age but couldn't get pregnant. One lady told me I should pray to God for a boy and go for it immediately, yeah we are done having kids but thank you for the advice little old lady at McDonalds. When we told my pediatrician that I was pregnant with Amelia he asked if we would have any more after that. We said no and he said "thank you". Oh you are welcome I had no idea I was doing you a service by not having any more kids.
Some others are:
organic everything vs. Non
home schooling vs. Schools,
vaccines vs. Not vaccinating,
home birth vs hospital birth,
Feeding your baby solids at 4-6 months vs. 6+ months vs. baby led weaning.
Drug free birth vs. Give me the drugs now!
I am sure the list could go on and on but I honestly have forgotten everything that gets debated on because I just generally do not care anymore.
Just stop comparing ladies! Watch what you say. Only say kind things. Dont talk about physical features of someones baby unless it is to say how cute they are, or how pretty their eyes are. Stop judging and if you are the one being judged just learn to let it go in one ear and out the other. I used to let it get to me until I was at the point where I could barely sleep at night I was so worried I was doing something wrong with my child.
Now I just laugh on the inside, smile, walk away or change the subject.
Let mothers follow their own instincts again, as they are the only ones to know what is best for their kids.
Moms I suggest you throw out all the parenting books and follow those instincts God gave you. It is so much less confusing this way, and you will finally truly enjoy your kids instead of constantly worrying about them.
Know you are the best mom for your kids and you are very different from other moms as God made you different and God made your child different. You know what is best and in your eyes your child is perfect, and that alone should be good enough for you.
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