Christmas time is coming

Christmas time is coming and I am sad. I am still hoping that Jake gets a job and we are able to be back in the mainland for Christmas.

Christmas is just not the same without family around. Now that we have kids it is even harder. We would love to be surrounded by all our family and for our kids to have that amazing experience.

I decided to listen to Christmas music yesterday for the first time this year. I usually wait until Thanksgiving but I was curious what the girls thought about the music. We ended up listening to it for a few hours, they loved it.

The songs brought a lot of emotions for me though. I just really want to be with family for Christmas. I miss you all.

Jake has some job opportunities still open out there and if he was to be offered a good one then he would have to be there probably within 4-5 weeks from accepting. Christmas is 5&1/2 weeks away so that is cutting it close.

Plane tickets are ridiculous during the holidays so it just isn't a smart thing to do right now.

We know that we are supposed to move. When we first learned it was time we didn't even really want to leave Hawaii, we love it here, at least not yet. Then we were just ok with leaving about 4-5 months later. We still weren't thrilled but we were ok with it. Now we are extremely ready. We have a plan to get back ASAP. We really feel like it is time.

We are doing our part now we are just waiting for God to do his part. We are trying our best to be patient.

Patience is hard knowing Christmas is coming. We have been living in limbo for almost a year now. We want to get the girls lots of things for Christmas but if we move we can't afford to bring them. I mean if you buy a toy for $20 and it costs you $10-15 to ship it a month later what is the point, it is smart to just wait to buy it after the move. But we have been waiting for almost a year now.

For the girls birthdays we bought them some fun things but they are all small things we can move with easily.

I have been holding off on potty training Aleigh because I don't want to buy all the equipment just to turn around and have to buy it a 2nd time a month later.

Also, Christmas decorations. We sold all our decorations when we thought we were moving to Salt Lake City. All we have left is some handmade or personalized ornaments and a homemade Christmas tree skirt. I don't want to celebrate the season without decorations, but I don't feel like it is smart to buy them all over again just to sell them shortly after for next to nothing. Plus who is going to want to buy used Christmas decorations right after Christmas? I doubt anybody.

Please just keep us in your prayers that a job works out soon. It would mean so much to our family to be back on the mainland for Christmas.

Aleigh's birth story

Almost nothing goes as planned with 2 little ones. I am a planner and I can say that the girls have changed me. I still try to plan the day out but I now am very good at going with the flow when it doesn't work out. For example here I am writing this at 4am. Kea our dog decided through the night she needed to go outside 2 times now and is again letting me know the same. My 1 year old was also awake for an hour in the middle of the night. Thankfully this never happens anymore and I always get a full night uninterrupted amount of sleep.

Once I wake several times in the night it is really hard for me to go back to sleep. Today is Aleigh's 2nd birthday! To celebrate her day of birth I figured I would share her birth story with everyone as I don't believe I have done that yet. It is a funny story really.

Jake worked nights around the time Aleigh was born. I get a phone call at 5am from his work phone. I answer and get no response. This happens 3 times. I started to get annoyed as I am a pregnant woman who needs her sleep and why is my husband playing with me at 5am. Then finally I get a response. It was Jake moaning saying he was in so much pain laying on the floor in a fetal position while puking nonstop. He was saying he needs to go to the hospital. My husband never says things like this, so I jump out of bed. I rush in and wake up my mother-in-law, who was staying with us. She talked to Jake and it sounded like a possible ruptured appendix. We immediately tell him to call an ambulance.

We only have one car and he had it at work with him. His boss picks us up at home to take us to get the car so we can meet Jake at the hospital. It took us 2 hours to get to the hospital.

Since Jake called around 5am shortly after that my contractions started. I must have been so worried and stressed about Jake that it put me into labor. By the time I got to the hospital Jake was at my contractions were strong enough I knew this was it. But I did not want to deliver at this hospital, so I didn't tell anybody.

Finally the pain became readable on my face. The Dr. who was attending Jake looks over at me and back at Jake and says OK I know what is wrong with you, what is wrong with her? I tell him I am in labor.

Thankfully that Dr. told me I need to leave and make my way to the hospital I want to deliver at. Being in labor that also rushed them at getting Jake out of the hospital. He found out he had 2 kidney stones he was passing one of them.

Pam and I leave but I wasn't in my right mind at the moment and she didn't know her way around Hawaii as she was just visiting. I told her the on ramp to take us home instead of to the hospital. It takes us 15 minutes to turn around and go the right direction. By that time Jake called and was being released. We decided to go pick him up since we were at that exit and we have the only car.

Finally after awhile we were on the way to the hospital and once again Hawaii traffic didn't disappoint. It took maybe another hour to drive 15 miles! We arrived at 10am to Kapiolani Medical Center. They check me and I was at 5cm.

I waited two hours. At noon I was in too much pain so the Dr. checks and I was still at 5-6 cm. I decided to go ahead and get some type of IV pain medicine right after they moved me from the triage to the delivery room. Those wore off after an hour. It was then 1:30 and I was in so much pain I decided to try a hot shower. That was the best pain relief. It took my pain from a 10 to a 5. I stayed in the shower for 30 minutes. As soon as I got out the pain was immediately a 10 again.

I started to feel a ton of pressure so the nurse checks and I was at 8cm! I asked for more IV meds. It took them at least 30 minutes to get them to me because for some reason they couldn't get ahold of my Dr. Finally I get the drugs. They look again and it was time for Aleigh to be born! An hour later she was born at 4:18 pm.

The doctor gives Jake a hug and then asks him ok so what happened to you? Jake had a hospital bracelet on and his arm was bandaged from taking blood. He looked exhausted and almost sick. Jake told him he just passed a kidney stone and was taken to the hospital. The Dr. was laughing so hard. He said I always heard of sympathy pains from the father. Now you are taking it to a whole new level. I just love my OBGYN.

After 1 stitch, an hour of manually trying to get the placenta out with the doctors arm and lots and lots pain. The Dr. had to do a D&C . After losing lots of blood I was able to relax. They took Aleigh away though because my bleeding was a risk. I then didn't get to see her for another 4 hours. I was so thankful to be able to hold her for about 10 minutes before that. That moment was simply amazing and I won't even try to describe it. It is a moment that I will just remember and keep private for the rest of my life.

Aleigh is so healthy and happy. Jake was rushed to the hospital, gave birth to a kidney stone while I was rushed to a different hospital to give birth to a baby all within 11 hours. Jake and I are incredibly happy to be raising a beautiful baby girl named Aleigh Grace Madison.

The last 2 years have been so much fun with her. She is a sweet, silly, adorable, caring hard headed little girl. In my eyes she is just perfect. Happy Birthday Aleigh.

Birthday week.

Amelia's birthday is Wednesday and will be 1. Aleigh's birthday is Friday and she will be 2. This means I will have 2 one year olds for two days!!

We will celebrate on Thursday and Friday.  I will make Amelia a cake on her birthday and watch/take pictures of her smashing into it. So far we know we will go to the zoo Thursday morning then to a show at Jake's work Thursday night, its like a luau minus the food and is free if he can get a pass from work. Friday we are going back to Jake's work to do the Character breakfast with Mickey mouse and Minnie mouse. The girls will wear their Thing 1, Thing 2 outfits all day as Amelia is 1, and Aleigh 2 I just thought that would be too cute. After breakfast we will try to go to the beach if the weather is nice and after nap time eat dinner out, go to a new playground and have cupcakes at our church group's house. We should have a fun time!

These are some of the things I think I will miss most about our babies growing up;

The look on Aleigh's face as soon as the introduction song to the Lion King comes on, which is the only movie or show she likes right now. She wants to watch it multiple times a day if I let her, which I have a few times just to watch her face light up.

Going for a walk with the girls in the stroller. It is usually a peaceful time and we all quietly take in the nature around us. We go for a 45 minute-1 hour walk daily in the stroller.

Feeding Amelia solids and seeing her reactions to the things she likes and doesn't like.

Watching Amelia play with her food, with a look on her face like she just won the jackpot, while she flings food all over the floor. The dog then runs to get it as if she also just won the jackpot.

Aleigh's face when she sees an animal she likes. She gets nervous but really excited at the same time.

Reading the same books 20 times just to make the girls happy. I know I will miss "Brown bear, Brown bear", "Hush little baby" and the "spot" books as those have always been the favorite among Aleigh.

Washing 8 bottles a day. The girls are both on whole milk now and Amelia has been off the bottle for almost a month. At one time when Amelia was first born I was washing about 10 bottles/cups a day between the 2 of them. I already miss those moments of bottle feeding my tiny little newborn while she cuddles in my arms. My wallet says thank you, my heart says can't you stay a baby!

Amelia's baby chub. Amelia is a tiny little thing. She didn't have nearly the amount of baby chub Aleigh had, but my oh my she does have those chubby cheeks. I just want to squeeze and kiss them all day long. I learned with Aleigh that they practically went away over night and I am not making that mistake again. Those cheeks are getting a lot of attention, whether Amelia likes it or not.

I will miss seeing Aleigh just randomly walk over and hug Amelia. Thank God that will probably last awhile longer, but I know eventually I will miss those extra sweet moments.

I will miss seeing Amelia's cute little baby walk. She kicks those legs straight out while holding her hands straight down with her fingers pointed out, it reminds me of how penguins walk. She is just too cute.

I will miss all the laughter when they are both exhausted. This is Jake's favorite time of the day. When they are really tired they will just giggle at the smallest things and Jake loves to get them going. I will miss just sitting back watching those moments.

I will miss the baby babbling. Neither of the girls are really talking right now but they are getting so close. It is adorable when Amelia goes "mama mama MAMA" she only does this when she is upset for some reason. Haha when she is happy she says everything else.

I will miss those moments of holding your baby while they sleep. Let's face it, I haven't held either one while they slept in months. They got bigger and have since grown out of it. I miss those sweet moments.

I will miss those silly faces Aleigh makes. She has so many expressions. When she is learning something new and I say "no we shouldn't so that because of ____." She will tilt her head to the side scrunch one eye closed give her mouth a half grin and say "eh" as if she says that's ok, oh well.

I will miss those early morning and bedtime cuddles. I know they will eventually fade away. I just pray they last at least 1 more year.

I will miss changing diapers. I am sure I will somehow miss those moments of holding down a baby to change their diaper when they squeal, giggle, sometimes cry because all they want to do is crawl, walk or play. At the moment those times can be annoying. Now looking back I am already laughing because they are just really silly.

I will miss those playful moments when Amelia thinks it is funny to sit on your head, eat your nose, pull your hair or fall on top of you. She just wants to play with ME and I am the most blessed person.

I will miss the moments when they are obsessed with one thing for weeks because they are learning to do it themselves. Aleigh has always loved going up and down stairs. She can now do it on her own. She went through several phases where she wanted to go up and down them way too many times. This meant I had to carry Amelia up and down them. It was quite the workout really. But it was so worth it to see her excited face when she did it all by herself for the first time. Right now it is an obsession with door handles and we have to open and close them over and over and make sure little sis doesn't get hurt each time as she wants to be right there in the action too.

I will miss rocking/holding a baby to sleep. With Aleigh I did this every nap time and every bedtime until she was 18 months. While it became stressful doing this I now miss those moments and wish I would have enjoyed them a little more. Amelia has never wanted to be held to sleep. She has always wanted room to move and be more independent. I remember she went through a phase at about 3-6 months old where she wanted to be held and finally, for the first time I was able to hold her to sleep, I cried little tears as I loved that moment. Before and after those few months all she would want was our hand on her back letting her know we were there. I know I will miss those times too.

I will miss their firsts. The first smile, the first tooth that pops through, their first step, the first time they clap their hands, their first solids, their first time rolling over, the first time playing pat-a-cake, their first shoes, their first babble, their first giggle. The list could go on and on.

I just loved every minute of having a baby, and I will miss each and every moment big or small. I have to say though I am really looking forward to watching them grow up together. I hope they will be best friends. Here is to having a 1 year old and 2 year old!

Cheers, Jennifer.

3 years ago today.

3 years ago today I was forced to become stronger than I ever imagined.

3 years ago today I got up from my temporary bed, the couch, which I was being forced to lay on for 10 days without getting up much through the day.

3 years ago today I woke up and brought an extra pair of clothes with me to the doctor, just in case my water decided to randomly leak and make it look like I peed my pants.

3 years ago today we took that long car ride to the Dr. wondering about what was going to be revealed about our situation.

3 years ago today we were just going through the motions.

3 years ago today we didn't talk much, we didn't have much to say. We had tears and we had fears, that was all. Everything else had already been said.

3 years ago today I laid down on that Dr's table while desperately praying and holding my husband's hand.

3 years ago today that ultrasound wand was desperately looking for that critical amniotic fluid.

3 years ago today the ultrasound confirmed there was no measurable amount of fluid to support our baby.

3 years ago today we had a rude ultrasound tech who still made me sit there while she did everything you would normally do with a healthy baby, like measure the skull, look for the gender, look at the spine.

3 years ago today that rude ultrasound tech wouldn't answer my desperate questions when I already knew my baby wasn't going to make it.

3 years ago today every time that rude ultrasound tech would push down on my belly I felt something moving in a weird way.

3 years ago today the ultrasound tech told me that was the umbilical cord that was slipping out if me. Cord prolapse. Every time she kept taking a different measurement that cord kept coming out further and further.

3 years ago today as soon as we heard cord prolapse, we knew our baby had no chance. When that happens with a full term baby they rush to do an emergency c-section.

3 years ago today we watched on that ultrasound machine while our baby's heartbeat went from 170+ bpm to an unmeasurable amount.

3 years ago today we were given the option of a D & E or induced labor.

3 years ago today I decided I couldn't let my sweet innocent baby be cut up and sucked out of me.

3 years ago today I walked hand in hand with my husband to the hospital which was a block away.

3 years ago today we didn't even know how to be admitted to the hospital, let alone where the labor and delivery floor was.

3 years ago today I was being prepared to be induced, but I was only 18 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I didn't take any classes to prepare me for labor, I didn't tour the hospital.

3 years ago today I was scared. We were scared. This was uncharted territory.

3 years ago today every doctor and every nurse that came by gave us a sad look. The Dr's were always shocked to see the cord prolapsed as that isn't common to just see. They would forget that my baby was already gone, so it was ok.

3 years ago tomorrow my baby was born after about 12 hours of epidural free labor. Our baby wasn't very big, but I have since learned that labor was every bit as painful as my other two.

3 years ago tomorrow we were asked many questions we were not ready to answer. Would you like to have a funeral for your baby? Would you like your baby to be buried or cremated? Would you like the hospital to take care of your baby's remains? Would you like a chaplain to come and pray with you? Would you like your baby to be baptized? Would you like pictures of your baby? Would you like to hold your baby? What would you like to name your baby? Would you like to have an autopsy done?

3 years ago tomorrow I held my baby for the first and last time. It was so hard putting my baby in that bassinet. When they wheeled her out of the room by heart hurt so bad knowing part of me was gone.

3 years ago tomorrow they wheeled me into a post partum room to recover. There were happy moms all around me with their sweet newborn babies.

3 years ago tomorrow I was offered to hold my baby one last time. I couldn't do it. It broke my heart last time they wheeled her away, I couldnt go through that again. I did what I could handle at that moment even if the nurse didn't understand and probably thought my "no" was rude. I couldn't lose it. I had to stay strong. Now I know being strong is actually allowing yourself to feel.

3 years ago tomorrow I craved to hold a newborn baby. My arms were so empty. While I slept I had dreams of a baby crying while being comforted by Jesus. I yearned to comfort her and tell her it was ok, that she was in the best place and being held by the best person.

3 years ago tomorrow I walked away from that hospital, with empty arms and an empty heart, knowing my baby was somewhere inside. Part of me was left in that hospital and to this day every time I drive by it I think of her.

3 years ago tomorrow we were on the drive home and I prayed for a sign to show me everything will be ok, maybe a rainbow, something. Less than 5 minutes later I looked out the window and I saw a very faint, very beautiful rainbow.

Today my rainbow is here. Her name is Aleigh and she is the kindest 23 month old kid. I got more than just a rainbow though, I was also blessed with a pot of gold underneath the rainbow, my sweet Amelia who is 11 months old.

If Ashtyn were alive today I would have a 3 year old, a (almost) 2 year old, and a (almost) 1 year old.

I am the most blessed person in the world. I have 3 kids. One is in the most perfect place and I miss her but I am not sad. I know I will see her again one day and be able to spend eternity with her. I am so thankful God created her and gave her to me even if it was only for 18 &1/2 weeks.

I might write blogs like this every so many years about her but I do not talk to anyone about her or my experience. I will always remember on these days but I will not spend these days sad.

Today we went to a pumpkin patch and we laughed and we smiled. Tomorrow I will make a home made apple crisp. Every year on the day she was born I will bake something or have some kind of special dessert to celebrate her, whether I am the only one who knows it is for her or if everyone knows. It is a special way to remember her in a comforting, happy and quiet way.

I post these blogs to remind everyone they are not alone. Pregnancy and infant loss happen 1 in 4 times. The topic isn't talked about much as it is a sad thing to hear and talk about.

We feel like being strong is being able to cover up our emotions. Reality is being strong is opening up, cutting into those raw emotions and being able to talk about them then picking yourself back up to keep marching on the next day.

Moments like those are what makes us strong, and we learn how to become better people while we are down trying to find our way back up.

Mommy-daughters day out

Today I had so much fun with the girls. It is very rare that I get to take the car while Jake works. He normally works early in the morning and leaves either before the girls wake up or literally a minute after they wake up, or has to leave for work at 12:30 which is in the middle of nap time and we would have to pick him up at 8:30 which is in the middle of bedtime. Or the 3rd normal is he works until midnight, yeah not waking the kids up at that hour.

Because we only have one car we stay home while Jake works. While Jake is off work we are usually out of the house.

Today Jake worked a "normal" shift and it didn't run into naptime or bedtime so we took the car and spent the whole day out of the house.

We started by Jake's work and walked the 2 mile beach side trail. Ko'olina is such a beautiful place. Probably on my top 5 favorite places on the island. Today there were hardly any people there, which is extremely uncommon.

We then stopped by to see Mickey Mouse at the Aulani resort. We were probably 75 feet away and Aleigh was excited but also nervous. I decided to make a reservation for the character breakfast on Aleigh's birthday to celebrate both their birthdays. Hopefully Mickey mouse won't scare them too much.

Aleigh loves looking at fish so we stop by to see the Aquariums Jake works with at the resort. The girls enjoyed that.

On the walk back we stopped to run around in the amazing green grass Ko'olina always has. It was nice to lay down on it. It really is some soft perfect looking grass.

The girls laid in bed giggling with each other and babbling back in forth for a good 45 minutes before falling asleep.

After nap time we headed to the craziness of Costco in hopes to find some bottled water. We have a possible hurricane or tropical storm heading our way. Naturally they were already out if water. Oh well, the free samples made up for the trip.

A girl's day out just wouldn't be complete, in my opinion, without a trip to Target. I just love that store. Thankfully a double kiddo cart was waiting right by an empty parking space.

There are some days when we go to Target and can't find a cart that can seat both kids. Naturally we left the double stroller at home so this means we have to push 2 carts around the store, or wear Amelia. Let's face it though sometimes 2 carts takes less energy if Jake is with me. Then while we are navigating our 2 shopping carts down aisles we always see someone with the double kiddo cart and only has 1 child!!!!!!!  How dare they!! They could be using a normal cart, but no they decide to take the last one that can be used for multiple kids, when they only have one. Oh well.

Thankfully today I found a double seater very easily. At the end of the target trip I decided to buy a couple cookies. I figured Aleigh would like one. Apparently she doesn't know what a cookie is because she wouldn't eat it no matter how many times I offered.

Jake and I tend to sneak our dessert in after the girls go to bed.  :)  We do give the kids some but not all the time.

I talked to a lady at target today who has a 8,7 & 5 year old. The 8 &7 yr olds are 15 months apart and the 7 & 5 yr old are 19 months apart. She was a nice lady who understands. It was refreshing talking to someone who didn't ask if they are twins, or mention anything about how you are brave, or have your hands full. She told me how it was for her with her kids growing up so close together.

I am going to miss these days. Amelia had her very last bottle today. It was a sad moment. For the next two weeks her formula will go directly into sippy cups. For Aleigh it was so easy taking the bottle away when she turned 11 months, I thought I would do the same for Amelia. This weekend I am going to slowly start introducing whole cows milk to her. Boy I am ready to start saving that formula money.

Today was a fun day. The girls were completely exhausted by the end of the day. Aleigh could barely keep her eyes open during the Lion King before bed. I hope we can do it again soon.

Day 7: cuddly kids

The girls have been wanting to be held so much lately. While this can be tough because they both tend to want to be held at the same time, I love it! They are growing up so fast and I am loving each and every cuddle, big and kiss. They are the sweetest little girls and I am the most blessed mom!

Please think before you speak!

Today a lady was talking about how her baby gets called tiny and skinny a lot. This bothers her because her son has feeding issues and she has tried everything to get him to eat what others would call "normal" amounts. When she hears others talk about how her child is smaller than others it makes her feel guilty, like she isn't doing the right things, which is not at all true.

I on the other hand with Aleigh would get "oh you have such a big baby", "my how old is HE? HE looks huge for his age", "oh boy she is healthy, I bet she likes to eat". The list could go on and on really.

One time I even had a group of ladies walk by and one loudly decided to say "that is the fattest baby I have ever seen" she was immediately hit in the arm and shushed by her friends. None the less Jake and I both heard. We wanted to jump her and retort back some rude comments about how chubby she was herself. Trying to be the bigger person I kept walking, and have since forgiven.

Society these days makes moms worry and feel awful about the amazing job they are doing. The majority thinks they are better than the other person, or they just think they can "fix" it all.

The list can go on and on about subject matter that keeps moms up all night long.

Attachment parenting vs. what detached? (As if the opposite is what any good mom would want). Oh but wait a sec. you do want them to learn to do things on their own or they will never get anywhere in life.

Cosleeping vs. Making them sleep in their own cold dark beds. But wait a second some say cosleeping is risky as their is a greater risk of SIDS. Plus you once again hear horror stories of your teenagers wanting to still sleep in your bed.

Cry it out vs. a million other methods to get your child to sleep. The glorious nights of 8+ hours of peaceful sleep. This is what everyone dreams of and everyone thinks their method of getting there is right and the other is way way wrong.

Breastfeeding vs. Formula. Women and Dr's make it seem like if you don't breastfeed your baby you are a failure as a mother and your baby is going to end up with an awful immune system and will be obese! Formula feeding moms, this is NOT true, do some research. Don't feel bad about doing what is best for yourself and your baby by giving formula. I say it is a gift from God and my kids are as healthy as can be. I was a much better mom once I gave up breastfeeding as I was depressed, stressed and in the worst pain of my life trying to breastfeed and this was from a mom who gave birth to 2 kids epidural free.

Stay at home mom vs. working mom. Just stop ladies, stop with the judgements. Just know you are each doing your absolute best to raise your kids the best way you know how.

Child spacing is another one. My kids as you probably already know are 363 days apart. People just think they can talk to you and give you advice on how to space out your kids age. I thought this was all up to God? Apparently not. I have talked to some who would love to have their kids close in age but couldn't get pregnant. One lady told me I should pray to God for a boy and go for it immediately, yeah we are done having kids but thank you for the advice little old lady at McDonalds. When we told my pediatrician that I was pregnant with Amelia he asked if we would have any more after that. We said no and he said "thank you". Oh you are welcome I had no idea I was doing you a service by not having any more kids.

Some others are:
organic everything vs. Non
home schooling vs. Schools,
vaccines vs. Not vaccinating,
home birth vs hospital birth,
Feeding your baby solids at 4-6 months vs. 6+ months vs. baby led weaning.
Drug free birth vs. Give me the drugs now!

I am sure the list could go on and on but I honestly have forgotten everything that gets debated on because I just generally do not care anymore.

Just stop comparing ladies! Watch what you say. Only say kind things. Dont talk about physical features of someones baby unless it is to say how cute they are, or how pretty their eyes are. Stop judging and if you are the one being judged just learn to let it go in one ear and out the other. I used to let it get to me until I was at the point where I could barely sleep at night I was so worried I was doing something wrong with my child.

Now I just laugh on the inside, smile, walk away or change the subject.

Let mothers follow their own instincts again, as they are the only ones to know what is best for their kids.

Moms I suggest you throw out all the parenting books and follow those instincts God gave you. It is so much less confusing this way, and you will finally truly enjoy your kids instead of constantly worrying about them.

Know you are the best mom for your kids and you are very different from other moms as God made you different and God made your child different. You know what is best and in your eyes your child is perfect, and that alone should be good enough for you.

Day 5: mud tastes good mommy!

Amelia gets to wear all of Aleigh's hand me downs. Some were stained and thrown away but most were still in good condition. Today I took some time to scrub all of Aleigh's outgrown shoes and get them clean for Amelia to wear.

I filled up a big bucket of water and put a few things in there for the girls to play with while I use the water to do some scrubbing on the shoes.

Aleigh had a blast which was nice for a change, the last few months she has been fearful of any water and this time she was splashing water all over herself and me, we were drenched.

When I was done with the water I dumped it in the yard because it needed some water anyways.

Aleigh then walks over and splashes in the mud puddle in her brand new white sandals. Oh well I thought she normally runs from the dirt so I will let her play in it as long as she wants. 20 seconds later she comes running to me crying and trying to take her shoe off. She didn't like having dirty feet so I grab the hose and spray them clean. She then was as happy as can be with clean feet.

As I went to put the shoes inside the house I turned around and there Amelia was sitting in the mud, digging her fingers in it.

This is new for me. Aleigh never liked getting dirty. I thought it was funny so I grabbed my phone to take a picture. That is when Amelia decided to try and eat the mud then rubbed it all across her face.

We headed straight for the bath. Aleigh does not like the dirt and was freaking out, she didn't want me to touch her until I wiped the mud off my arms.

These girls keep me busy but my oh my are they fun.

Day 4: The girl's first pet died last night. :(

Day 4:

Our pet fish named Sunshine died yesterday evening. Aleigh knew who sunshine was but I thought she only paid him attention when we were feeding him, cleaning his tank or would mention his name. Turns out this was not the case and Aleigh had somewhat of an attachment to Sunshine.

I was not prepared to have to explain to Aleigh that a pet had died. I figured oh well Kea is 6, she still has years left so I never even thought about what to say to Aleigh.

Jake walks over to the tank and says uh oh I don't think Sunshine is doing so well. Aleigh and I immediately run over. Turns out he was already gone. Aleigh gets a very confused look on her face. Jake then takes Sunshine out and goes to flush him down the toilet. I was explaining to Aleigh what happened. She hears the toilet flush and gives a very worried sounding cry and runs to the toilet, lifts the lid and looks in with a scared look on her face.

I then think OK maybe she will forget about it and will be fine. This morning in 3 hours she went up to the fish tank pointing and basically asking where sunshine was without actually talking. Each time I had to explain to her that Sunshine isn't there anymore, he was sick and had to go to fish heaven and get healed. Today she looked for Sunshine 4 times. I never knew she gave that much attention to the little angel fish.

I think I will now look into breaking the bad news to a kid and try to figure out the best way to do that. I have no idea. Fish Heaven just came out of my mouth and I stuck with it.

In other news a sweet neighbor dropped off the Sunday paper on our doorstep this morning. It makes me want to pay it forward to someone else. There are still a lot of thoughtful people out there. Sometimes watching the news you start thinking this world is full of terrible people. This simple nice gesture brings me back to the true reality.

I have such wonderful neighbors, I really am blessed. Once I had a huge box of Diapers given to me by a neighbor. Another time I had 2 handmade bags and a baby blanket given to me. Another time some coupons. The last time a lady dropped off a bag full of snacks for Aleigh, now the newspaper.

Tomorrow I am going to help an older neighbor clean up his house. He offered to pay me some money to clean it as he just doesn't have the time or energy to and he thinks he is having some family come visit him soon.

Day 2 & 3

I never got around to writing about a real mommy moment yesterday so we will rewind and talk about it today.

Day 2: Yesterday my sweet husband let me go for a run. Those me time moments are a blessing. Running to me is a stress reliever and it makes me feel good all in one, so I am very thankful that 2-3 times a week Jake watches the girls while I go for my run.

Usually while I run Jake and the girls go along with me whether it is a ride in the stroller or some playing in a grassy field or time to play on a playground. Yesterday we went to a beach park where they have a mile long trail by the ocean, I love running there. The ocean is always a beautiful turquoise and sometimes the surf is up beating against the rocks. It is therapy to watch and makes running longer distances easier.

When I was finished we let the girls roam around. Amelia is such a curious little girl. She also loves the great outdoors and playing in the dirt. She is obsessed with little leaves, grass, sticks, flowers and rocks she will find along a walk. Once she picks up her treasure she immediately walks as fast as she can away from you because she thinks she can eat the item once she is far enough away. She is a silly mess. But I sure do love her.

Day 3: Stroll in the rain. The days Jake works I take the girls for a mile long walk in the stroller. I love these walks. The girls are almost always so calm and quiet during these walks , and I know they enjoy them just as much as I do.

I am going to miss these daily strolls. Soon enough the girls will be old enough to walk the whole way and know how to cross a street safely. These walks will be full of chasing kids, hearing them talk and laugh and watching them skip down the sidewalk. I will miss these quiet peaceful moments. I will miss being able to really look at the trees and feel the wind on my face. Soon I will be so busy keeping the kids safe that I am going to forget those wonderful moments.

Because I know I will miss these strolls, that is why I take them everyday. One day we will not live in paradise. The weather will not be warm 365 days of the year. In Hawaii it does rain though and it can come and go very fast. It is always hard for me to tell if it will rain here. Today we went for our walk and about 1/4 mile from our house it started pouring. I couldn't run home so we took shelter under some trees. The canopies of the trees in Hawaii are amazing. They are like this perfectly formed shelter, all the branches are high so you never have to duck. They are the perfect trees for a picnic.

The rain lasted about 5 minutes then we continued our walk. It was a refreshing walk. There is something about letting yourself get a little wet from the rain. It somehow takes your worries away and makes you feel like a kid again. I think I enjoyed it way more than Aleigh and our dog did.

30 days of real life mom moments

I came across a lady's blog and she is taking a challenge to write about an every day mom moment, to record those moments that leave us moms shocked, pulling out our hair and sometimes at the point where all we can do is laugh. I am going to take this same challenge because these moments right now might seem stressful but one day I will miss these crazy times and with two little ones these days can be crazy.

Day 1: We drove to a beach on the other side of the island in hopes the girls would enjoy seeing some sea turtles, since Aleigh loves animals. Negative. We strapped them in their car seats, listened to the same few songs over and over to make Aleigh happy. She is very sad every time her favorite songs end and let's face it, sometimes it is just best to keep them happy. We pull up at the beach and there aren't any sea turtles soaking up the sun.

Aleigh is not a fan of the ocean right now, she hates it really. As soon as we find an ant infested place to sit she immediately starts pointing to the area we came in signaling she wanted to leave. She is very good really about remembering small details like where to leave any situation she is uncomfortable in.

We decided to wait a little bit to see if any turtles would come up on the beach, and to see if Aleigh would warm up to the idea of the ocean. Negative, she had to be held the whole hour we were there. Amelia on the other hand is like me in the sense that she somehow always gets covered in sand every time we are near a beach. That little girl really enjoyed herself and for that reason the drive was all worth it, turtles or no turtles.

Stay tuned for the other 29 days.

Personalities

The whole purpose of this blog is to write about my kids so I can one day in a few years print it out and have those memories for decades to come. I now want to talk about my kids personalities.

Aleigh at the moment is 22 months old, almost 2! That can't be right. She is still very shy around others. I am very thankful though that she doesn't scream when other people glance her way anymore. Sometimes she will give a puppy like cry when someone is giving her a little too much attention. That's OK she might just be shy through childhood, I was too and I am fine.

Aleigh loves animals. The only thing she will watch on TV right now is the Lion King because of the animals. She is obsessed with the movie. If we are watching something else on TV she will go and get her movie, hand it to me and point back to the TV. When that intro. song comes on she has this look on her face that is absolutely priceless. I hope she keeps that face the rest of her life and shows it everytime she gets that excited. She loves her animal books and going to the zoo. Taking her to Petco is like Heaven on earth to her.

Aleigh is learning to talk. I really think she will be talking by the time she turns 2 now. She just started trying to talk a few weeks ago by babbling a ton. Now she will sometimes repeat easy babbling after I say it like mama, Dada, and other random sounds and mixtures of letters. She really thinks she is talking now but I have no idea yet what she is trying to say. This is a HUGE accomplishment from my little "eehhh" girl who used to only say that a million times a day for maybe 8 months.

Aleigh is such a caring little girl. Anytime Amelia is upset because she wants something Aleigh will give it to her to make her happy. If Amelia is in another room and I call to her "Amelia where are you", Aleigh will stop whatever she is doing kind of scared like and run to Amelia. If Amelia is crying Aleigh will pat her on the back, crouch down and give her the look that says it's OK Amelia.

Aleigh is very strong willed. If she wants something she wants it. She has come so far in the last 4 months though and when I say no not right now or you had too many nutrigrain bars already she now puts it back, without me asking, and will accept whatever else there is. She is such a good kid.

Aleigh is a child of routine. She wakes at the same time, wants me to pick her up out of bed the exact same way everyday and immediately wants to eat. She gets really excited about our daily walks in the stroller and wants to walk out of the stroller at an exact spot every single time. At night she had to go through the exact same routine and if it gets changed up at all you can tell by her confused expression, and then she will usually cry a little more if it is changed.

When Aleigh is overly hungry nobody is happy. I understand this because I can also be a little bit of a grouch when I am hungry too.

Aleigh loves to be held still. She loves to cuddle and she is still pretty attached to me. She likes the extra comfort before bed and likes to hold our hands while walking.

Other likes of Aleigh's are making silly faces, being tickled, helping me with chores especially the laundry (she has to hold every hanger after I hang the item, or she will throw a fit), her no name lizard friend in the backyard, watching the rain, running as fast as she can and chasing me while I go for my run. She also loves to go up and down stairs, she is obsessed really. She loves looking through pictures and taking pictures all by herself even if they are all of the floor or her feet.

My prediction is Aleigh is going to be a working mom. She is going to do well with her grades and she is going to be driven with some type of career, and she is going to succeed at it. I would like to believe she is going to be a veterinarian since she is very obsessed with animals, or perhaps a biologist or work at a zoo or aquarium like her daddy. She is a little mom already to her little sister so hopefully 30 years from now, God willing, will give us some grand babies.

I can see Aleigh being a softball player as she loves to throw balls, it is one of her favorite things to do right now and to me it seems like she has a great arm.

Some things Aleigh does not like right now are the ocean, getting her hands dirty (she will get the wipes herself to clean her hands, legs, feet, face, arms and clothes, and even when other people are dirty). She still does not like vegetables or to sit still for long. She does not like it when her favorite songs end, or when it is time to go to bed. She does not like change and new situations.

Aleigh reminds me a lot of myself in so many ways.

Amelia on the other hand is so much like Jake.

Amelia will be 11 months old in just under a week. She is also shy around others but not nearly to the extreme Aleigh was. She will give a little pout when others give her too much undesired attention and want to be held by myself or Jake but then it stops. Only a few times has she really cried from being around a stranger.

Amelia is much more of a people person. She will follow her big sister around the house all day long. She is much more interested in watching people when we go places even the zoo where Aleigh watches the animals, Amelia watches the people.

Amelia is a pro at giving kisses. While Aleigh prefers hugs, Amelia prefers a great big smackaroo. You can be laying on the floor and here comes Amelia mouth open diving right for your mouth or nose to give you a big slobbery kiss. She is the sweetest little Miss.

Amelia is learning to talk about the same time as Aleigh I think. She is also babbling a ton although her babbles really don't sound like much.

Amelia loves to dance and watch anything on TV. She will actually sit still to watch TV which Aleigh only started to do this recently. She gets really excited when other people start dancing and will always join in quickly.

Amelia loves to play chase. I think it is hilarious, I will say "I am going to get you Amelia" and she will immediately squeal and turn around and start walking as fast as those little legs will walk until I catch her and tickle her. She also loves to play chase with Aleigh. It's funny because Aleigh thinks Amelia is chasing her while Amelia thinks Aleigh is chasing her. They make me laugh.

Amelia loves to get dirty. As soon as that back door opens she makes a run for it. She will usually go straight to the dog's water bowl to splash and get water all over herself. She then she seems to always make it over to the dirt in her wet clothes and sit her butt right down in it, while digging those hands right in. She always has such a big grin while doing this that I just can't stop her. This though means she goes through clothes pretty fast and she tends to have some dirty finger nails (maybe I should find some gloves for her to wear while she digs in the dirt).

Amelia is such a care free, independent, easy going baby who doesn't demand much of anything. She is easy to get to sleep, she falls asleep absolutely anywhere if she is tired. She is happy going along with whatever we want to do. She rarely wants to be held as she always wants to go about her own way instead. The only thing she wants is love and happiness and all is right in her world.

Amelia senses others moods. She has been like this since a baby. If Aleigh was sad, Amelia was sad. If everyone is happy she couldn't be more happy. If Jake and I are stressed she senses it very easily and will get stressed.

Amelia loves vegetables. She is just now at 11 months old liking fruit. I had never heard of a baby who doesn't like fruit until Amelia. She would immediately spit it back out with either a smile on her sweet face or a cry if I tried one too many times to get her to eat any kind of fruit purée. I would then go grab some veggies and she would inhale them. Hey, I will take it I suppose.

Amelia is just now getting the hang of finger foods and still isn't doing too well with them. She just has never been much of an eater and will just be slower to catch on than most as she just isn't very interested. She loves cheerios, yogurt melts, grilled cheese sandwich, shredded cheese, Mac n cheese. I have tried lots of other foods but those are the only ones she will keep in her mouth at the moment. She must just love cheese.

Amelia is our little explorer. Aleigh loved to make a mess and get into everything but Amelia on the other hand will take it one step further and make the mess then climb over and under it. She is a risk taker I can tell. She might be the one to ride on those crazy roller coasters with Jake.

My prediction for Amelia is she will be the class president and will be the stay at home mom. I believe she will be a people person and will have some sort of career centered around others.

She is already a little gymnast. She loves to do head stands with her feet on the ground, and she has really good balance. This girl doesn't fall a whole lot and hardly ever bumps her head. I really don't have to worry about her running into things or tripping. She loves to climb onto things and people and is pretty strong for her size.

Aleigh is my rainbow and Amelia is my little sunshine. Their nicknames are Aleigh bear and Amelia is my little Miss.

Who knows how their personalities will change over the years but as of right now these kids are the best and I enjoy them so much.

Ready to move

I am hoping and praying for some good news soon on the job front. Most wonder why we would want to leave beautiful Hawaii.

Here are some reasons;

I wake up sweating at 7am and sweat all day long. I cannot wait for the day to have central air conditioning again. Most don't know this but in Hawaii most houses only have window air conditioners, which cost a fortune to run. If you are rich then you can afford central air but out here it is just a luxury item, along with dish washers.

I miss family. I miss being a drive away. I want the girls to get to know family and seeing them once every 18 months just isn't cutting it.

I want the girls to grow up in a similar culture I grew up with. I would love to move to Texas or somewhere in the south.

The beaches are amazing but with 2 little kids, it is hard work going to the beach. You have to lug all the kids beach stuff. Also let's talk about sand. It gets everywhere!! In the diapers, which gives them rashes. It gets in the little ones mouth because she thinks it is food. Aleigh is also scared of the ocean these days so we really aren't able to even get in really.

It is expensive to live here. Since we have been looking into moving it has really opened my eyes to the prices out here. I cringe every time I see that price on the register screen and think that much money for how many items? When I move back to the mainland I am seriously thinking about being one of those crazy couponing people seeing all those cheap prices! I want to make it a goal to see just how cheap I can get my groceries. I just won't let myself have a huge stockpile. What I can't use soon will be donated.

I want a house. I want to wake up knowing I am in the home my kids will grow up in. I want a big yard where they can run as fast as their little legs will take them without the fear of a car driving by. I want to be able to decorate to my liking. I want to be able to build my own furniture with my own 2 hands. I want to decorate the walls with my kids artwork and inspirational quotes to help lead them through life. I want to have a house that will hold all the memories of their childhood. I am tired of moving and walking away from those memories.

I want seasons. I am desperate for hot chocolate, building snowmen and forts on the yard. I want to see the pretty leaves change and fall in autumn. I want to rake up those leaves just to let the girls jump in them. I want Christmas to feel like Christmas again. I honestly feel like I haven't celebrated Christmas in 3 years. I want to bundle up under a blanket while we all watch movies beside a warm fireplace. I want to remember that excited feeling when spring is around the corner and we all want to thaw off. To see those blooming tulips contrasting with the bright green yards and blue skies.

I want to be able to take a drive. You don't have to go to Hawaii to see a beautiful place. There are so many beautiful national parks in the US. The redwoods in northern Cali, Zion national park in Utah (I am desperate to hike the narrows one day), the Grand Canyon, Arches National park, Grand Teton and yellowstone, Yosemite. I want to have a hundred places and cities I can have access to just a cheap drive away.

For now though I am happy where I am. We are desperately going to miss Hawaii. I do love it here for a lot of reasons. I know I will cry hard when I board that plane and watch the island get smaller from the sky.

I know I will break down when we hand our keys over to our tenant for our place. Our girls were born here. They learned to walk in this apartment, this is where we heard that baby laughter, woke in the middle of the night comforting those precious babies, this is where they took their first baths, where they ate their first solid foods and left a mess in their wake. This is where the weather has always been nice enough to go on our daily strolls down the street. I will miss the sunshine.

This is also where Ashtyn was born and in a way us leaving will be hard because it will somewhat feel as if we are leaving her. I know this is not true but I am sure it will be hard when the time comes.

I am going to miss the people here. We were so scared moving here. We heard so many horror stories of how it is for haole's (white people) here. In almost 3 &1/2 years we have not experienced anything bad. Everyone here is so genuine and kind. If they want to know how you are they will ask and guess what? They actually listen for the answer and care. If they don't want to know, they don't ask. Everybody here is family to each other. Everyone is somebody's uncle, auntie or cousin, not by blood but in their hearts. I want to try my best to bring the Aloha with me when we move.

I might be jumping the gun writing this but we shall see. Hoping and praying for some good news.

Refreshed and Energized.

I am proud to announce that after 1 year and 10 months of waking in the middle of the night we now have 3 kiddos who sleep through the night! Hurray!

This means momma gets to sleep! Although now I do not know what to do with this extra time. I go to bed at 10 because for me that is late. I used to go to bed even earlier not knowing what the night would hold.

Now I cannot seem to sleep in. 7 hours later I wake up. What is wrong with me? This is the perfect opportunity to catch up on long lost sleep. Oh well I am waking quite refreshed and energized.

Poor Amelia is sick right now. It makes me just feel awful every time I hear her cough, or see that snotty nose. She is handling it like a trooper though. She does pretty well with the medicine and getting her nose wiped. Aleigh used to throw a fit every time, Amelia is about 50/50.

I am so thankful for 2 healthy girls. They have both been sick once or twice but that is normal.

Amelia is now getting into everything. Yesterday she got into the DVD's and scattered them all over the room. Last night she got into the shoes, socks, hats, hairbows, and diapers and just made a mess in her room. I think it is funny to watch her explore and have fun. A mess is a good thing, it means she is learning something and enjoying herself. Soon she will learn to clean up her messes, but I hope our house will be full of fun and exploration for years and years to come.

I read in a horsemanship magazine how children raised in the great outdoors around all the dirt, and animals actually have a better immune system. Some people seem to think the opposite. Either way I believe the first.

I hope and pray that my girls learn and love to fish, camp, love animals, run in big grassy fields, play in the woods, go on hikes, get their hands dirty and breathe in that wonderful smell of livestock.

I hope and pray that as their mom I can teach these things and give them those opportunities. I really hope that Jake gets this job in Waco, Texas. It is the kind of state that I can see all those wishes come true.

I only wish we could live on a farm, but I am sure there will be plenty close by for the girls to get their share of different animals. If not, there is always the zoo which Jake would be working for. They can spend plenty of time there.

Aleigh, I believe, is on the verge of talking. I hope and pray I am right. She is now babbling way more than she ever has. Yesterday she said "bababy' and pointed to Amelia. This is a huge accomplishment! I have learned that for her babbling back to her and repeating exactly what she said, making it a game is making her do that more often. She is now babbling "aaah eee" not sure if she is trying to say her name. Some other ones are "didi, Dada, mamae, Nana, Nene, yeayea, baba, beh and a big mixture of all sorts of letters really. Might not seem like much but even a month ago all she would ever say was Dada and that was maybe only a few times every couple of days. Hopefully this continues and maybe she will be talking before her 2nd birthday.

She had a Dr. appt right after she turns 2. If she isn't talking by then the Dr. Will probably recommend therapy. He gave us the option at 18 months but seeing how Jake and I both didn't start talking until 2+ we weren't worried, so he said he would check back at age 2.

Hopefully we will find out about this Waco job by the end of the week. I am sure you will all hear soon one way or the other.

Stress and cleaning

Lately because of all the possibilities of a move to the mainland, but yet it hasn't happened, I am stressed. We have basically been job searching for about 9-10 months now and it is exhausting. Not only do we have to look into how good of a job it would be, but also the city. They are all cities we have never lived in and also a lot of cities we have never even visited. That takes a lot of homework looking at the cost of living, the crime rates, the school systems, the neighborhoods, the housing market, the job itself, the company, how far of a drive it is to family, what activities the city offers, the average temperature, etc.

Because of all this research we have been doing over the past 9ish months we haven't had much time for anything else besides for the kids and doing some fun things, so we have been putting cleaning aside. Yikes!! Besides for the floors, the laundry, dishes, toilets and kitchen counters everything else has been just in wipe down mode and hasn't had a deep cleaning since before Amelia was born 10 months ago. Today though I decided to take my stress out on the house instead of the wonderful husband and kids and do some major cleaning.

One thing I have learned since having kids is white cabinets are a major no-no unless you have the time to scrub them weekly. They show everything especially those peanut butter and jelly marks from little fingers looking for more food. (Don't judge, having a spoon fed baby and a 1 yr old eating at the same time means lots of pb&j's and sticky fingers all over the house, until I get a second to clean them after the youngest is done eating too). When I buy a house if the cabinets are white that will be one of the first things I change and paint them to a dark grey or olive green/grey tint. If you can't see those PB&J marks that means they aren't there right?? Yeah, baby.

We basically have our future house designed already, just need to find the job and move! We cannot wait! We have been putting so many things on hold here. Knowing we could move at anytime made us not want to buy anything. Kids toys for example, Aleigh had outgrown most of the toys she has. Since Christmas she has only gotten 2 new toys, one she has already grown tired of and the other she still loves. The rest of the toys are just blah to her sadly. We also bought a few new books.

Aleigh makes me laugh when we read one book because it is one of those touch and feel books and there is a lot of textures in it. Well when Amelia was a little younger we would take her hand and guide her hand to feel the textures. Since Aleigh saw that, every time now for the past 6 months, she will grab her own hand with the other hand and guide that hand over the textures just like we do with Amelia, as if she can't rub her hand on it by itself. Its so stinkin' cute.

Another cute Aleigh moment is before bed after we finished reading books one day she ran to the living room and stood looking out the back door pointing to the sky making her "uh" noise and then waved bye bye so I said the sun is sleeping now so it is time for bed and she ran to her bedroom after passing a wave to the dog. Ever since then she added that to the routine, so we have to say "bye bye" to the sun everyday before bed or she will put up a fuss if we forget. Cute kid, cute kid.

Amelia has been such a stinker lately. Ha, no she is really the sweetest little thing to walk the planet I must say. She is really starting to show her personality though and will now tell you if she doesn't like something, like when Aleigh takes something from her.

Amelia has also never been much of an eater and she would be happy probably eating 15 oz. a day but then wanting to eat another 10 oz. at night because nighttime isn't any fun. The past couple weeks I have put the little Miss. on a strict eating schedule to try to cut out the over night feeds. A few months ago we started reducing the ounces in her overnight bottle, every couple weeks we would reduce it 1 oz. about 2 weeks ago we got it down to 1 (2oz ) bottle a night. We thought she would just stop waking for it since it was nothing and she obviously wasn't hungry. That was what an "expert" online had said. Yeah, not for little Miss. So now for the past 3 nights we have just started to soothe her in other ways instead of the bottle. This has meant pretty restless nights.

Aleigh we did this at about 6-7 months old because that girl would eat so much during the day we knew she didn't need a nighttime feed. Amelia on the other hand needed it until we finally buckled down and started feeding her at scheduled times to be sure she would eat enough. Aleigh we also just took it away cold turkey and would just calm her by holding her, this was not a pleasant time. Amelia we tried a more gradual approach because they are sharing a room and we didn't want Aleigh's sleep to be too interrupted. The gradual approach didn't really work anyways and now we just had to say "no" to the bottle so hopefully she will start sleeping through the night soon.

Amelia is a walking, babbling and smiling queen. She walks almost everywhere now. She babbles way more than Aleigh ever did. She is also constantly giving us really silly faces just to make us laugh. She has such a personality.

Amelia is not doing too well with finger foods, but she will get there. Right now she just puts the food in her mouth then immediately spits it back out with a silly look on that beautiful face. She just doesn't have much of a want for any kind of food so it isn't a surprise that she could care less about finger foods. Except for when Aleigh drops cheerios on the ground, those she will dive for, probably because she can follow Aleigh around (being active) and eating at the same time. Oh boy.  :)

I just love my little family. We just cannot wait to move back to the mainland and buy our first house! Hopefully we will be back before Christmas!

Rundown

I think I need to let myself relax a little. I am getting sick. A stay at home mommy of an 8 month old and 20 month old just isn't allowed to get sick. Today I layed on the couch the entire 2 hr nap both the girls took together and just read a few magazines. It was nice and well needed.

Poor little Amelia is teething and she has been a sad little baby when the medicine wears off her little self. It has been extremely hard getting her to drink a bottle. She is basically eating like a newborn right now. She is loving her solids though. I think it is because the spoon feels good on her gums.

Today she learned a fun new trick. She now LOVES to spew her food all over everything every time she takes a bite. She thinks it is hilarious. I was covered in spots of baby cereal this evening. Aleigh also thought it was funny and decided to take her drink and also spew it all over the couch. Nice. They must get it from Jake. :)

After cleaning up spewed juice and cereal they then took a bath. I thought a bath was when you clean up. Apparently you actually walk away having to clean more. Haha. Aleigh peed in the tub so I asked her if she wanted to go on the potty. She made her yes gesture. I then start singing to her the "this old man" song. Well when it comes to the 4 part I knocked on the door. This made Kea go bezerk which made Aleigh almost have a heart attack and sit in my lap. I then get Amelia out of the empty tub and guess what happens. Aleigh peed on the floor. So I ask her if she wants to go back on the potty. She says yes, so on she goes. In the meantime Amelia pulls to a stand on my shoulder. Within 20 seconds she pees all over my leg. I get up, Aleigh wants down so I help her, I wash Amelia and I off. I look over and there Aleigh was peeing on the floor again. I had a lot to clean up! I didn't realize how dirty kids are until I had 2! But I love 'em.

Another note, Jake has an interview with a job in Salt Lake city Thursday. Be praying he is confident in himself and he is sharp with answering questions. I know he will do great though. It is a job we are really hoping for as long as it is what God wants. So far Jake has turned down 2 jobs. The only way this one would be turned down is if it doesn't pay enough.

What I love most

Today is my "Friday"meaning for the next two days I only have to work part time. The work never ends for a mom of 2 little ones. They have been way too much fun lately. Seriously, just a little too much fun. I have been exhausted every morning. A mom's work day starts as soon as those littles wake up. Mine wake at about 6am.

Amelia is a playful little gal. She will not stop to sit still at all. I can hardly get her to drink a bottle. Oh but she makes up for the loss of daytime food and down the bottle in the middle of the night. Silly girl.

Because of all the exhaustion I am going to remind myself of what I love most about being a mom to 2 little girls, instead of thinking about the exhausting parts.

1. The pitter patter sound little feet make while running.

2. Holding Aleigh's sweet little hand as she walks beside you.

3. Little slobery open mouth baby kisses.

4. Happy baby trying to talk.

5. The funny faces a baby makes when you give her a food she does not like.

6. The endless giggles when they are overly tired.

7. The squeals I hear constantly from my little Amelia, happy baby.

8. When sitting on the floor they come from all directions to practically tackle you.

9. The looks on their faces when they discover something new.

10. The proud grins when they accomplish what they have been working on.

11. Excitement every time their Daddy walks through that front door after a day at work.

12. Chasing the toddler down for hugs she tries to pull away from, yet she has a grin on her face. Uh huh she enjoys it.

13. Walks in the park

14. Wonderful excuse to jump in water puddles again, that splashing sound never gets old.

15. They help me remember to stop and watch the birds, or the trees blow in the wind.

16. The smiles they give eachother warms my heart.

17. Watching Aleigh try her best to help me do anything and everything.

18. When Aleigh shares anything she has with Amelia.

19. The times when Aleigh and I are in a different room and Aleigh thinks something is missing. She then runs to Amelia and tried to pick her up to bring her to me.

20. Cute little baby feet that like to be tickled.

21. When Aleigh tries to walk around in our shoes or try on our clothes.

22. How adorable little babies look with a bow on their head.

The list could go on and on. I am so thankful to have Aleigh and Amelia. We are going to have way too much fun together over the years. I am also thankful for Jake. He works so hard to let me stay at home and then on his weekend he still works part time by giving me a part time break. Cheers to my Friday!

A normal day

I woke up at 5:45 this morning. I probably could make myself fall asleep again at this point but I know my kids are going to wake soon enough, so instead I give myself some quiet alone time.

I then hear Amelia wake 30 minutes later at 6:15, screaming. I then realized yay! she slept through the night! She must be screaming because she is starving. I quickly run in the room to grab Amelia in hopes Aleigh will sleep in a little longer. Nope, Amelia rolls and wakes as soon as she hears the creak in the door.

Time for a diaper change. Amelia is in that stage where she now hates laying still to get her diaper changed or change clothes. So I do my best to distract her so she doesn't try to roll. I then change Aleigh.

By this time the girls were starving and cranky and I have only been out of bed for a few minutes. I make Amelia her bottle, give Aleigh some applesauce and sit down to a bowl of cereal. A few minutes later Amelia decided she doesn't want to eat and wants to explore instead.

I start to smell some stinkiness and I just changed diapers 30 minutes ago. Another round of diaper changes and baby wrestling to put that clean diaper on.

Meanwhile Aleigh has decided she wants to read some books. She loves reading it is her favorite thing and has been for about a year. Amelia on the other hand will hardly sit still for one book. I think OK we will read a few. No, she ended up giving me the cute face and making me read every single book she has. I counted 36 books! Some she only wanted to read a few pages in, others she wanted to read 4-5 times. Amelia practically explored the house while we read.

I knew Amelia was still hungry so I then went to feed her some cereal. Well apparently Aleigh wanted to read more. She then put up a fit. This toddler fit went on for about 10 minutes while I fed Amelia.

This is a time when a stroller comes in handy, distraction. But it was left in the car which is at Jake's work. We really need to buy a 2nd double stroller so I don't have to keep remembering to take ours out of the car. I decided to instead do some cleaning. Amelia now has separation anxiety so leaving the room makes her really sad.

I run to grab the vacuum so Amelia knows I am returning and didn't just disappear to never be seen again. The vacuum, Amelia loves it, Aleigh hates it. You would think Aleigh would be used to it by now. Sometimes she just looks slightly worried but it keeps her distracted. Today though, she screamed and wanted to be held. Amelia just wants to play with it as it goes by her.

Aleigh and I then go get the broom and swiffer. She loves helping me with this cleaning project. Today though she apparently really wanted the broom. I kept telling her to help me swiffer instead. Once I was done with the broom she didn't want to give up the swiffer for the broom. She gets her stubbornness from me, what can I say.

Amelia then decides she finally wants a bottle. Just kidding, a few minutes later she again just wants to play. We all finally get out of our PJ's 3 hours later and brush our teeth. Aleigh doesn't mind brushing her teeth sometimes it even makes her laugh. Amelia just had her first tooth pop through a few days ago. So far, she can't stand having her teeth brushed. I then leave the girls to try and "brush" their own teeth to go and brush my own. After I brush I walk in to the living room and see Aleigh sitting there with Amelia's toothbrush in her mouth and Amelia was fast asleep with the bottle in her arms. Oh man....I hope that one time doesn't give her a bottle-sleep association again.

I was hoping to put the girls down for thier naps together today to give myself some down time, nope. Amelia gets put in her bed and I rinse the toothbrushes. I guess sisters that young and close in age don't mind sharing germs. :-p.

I have been teaching Aleigh how to wash her hands. She loves it because it gives her a chance to play in the water. She ends up sitting in the sink and basically turning it into a pool. That's ok it gives me a 5 minute break.

Now that the girls are getting older I am able to treat myself to some amazing things like lotion. My skin was getting a little rhino like. :-/  I never put lotion on either of my kids just because their skin doesn't need it. Before Aleigh was born I bought some baby lotion so now I have been using it up myself. Johnson and Johnson has officially been tested on animals as of today. Aleigh thought it was a blast wiping it on Kea, who then went crazy trying to lick it off. Kea loves the taste of lotion, yuck.

We live on a really dry side of the island, almost desert like. I have been trying to keep what little grass we have alive, so I then water the grass. I usually do this while the girls are sleeping so we don't get muddy feet/doggy paws. Aleigh thought this was too much fun. We played for a little while with the water hose.

We run, we chase each other, we skip, we "jump", we hide from each other and we have snacks. Amelia then wakes up screaming. Poor girl she is still teething. Just the beginning of teething really. Aleigh and I then read a few books and she goes to bed.

Here I am writing this now. These girls are exhausting but I love spending my days with them. I am so blessed to be able to stay at home with them. I will look back on these days and know the financial sacrifices to stay at home were so worth it.

I have to go spend some one-on-one time with little Amelia now before Aleigh wakes up. She is such a sweet girl.

A sight to be seen

Now that Jake and I are becoming "masters" of having 2 little ones, we are also realizing just the sight we are giving others around us. It must be hilarious to watch really. We have always been somewhat annoyed by how many people just seem to stare at us. Yes we have 2 little ones that look almost close enough to be twins. They must surely be twins because nobody in their right mind would have 2 so close together right? We thought that was what everybody thought. Now we know we are just entertaining to watch is all.

On our anniversary we brought the kids with us. We don't have family in Hawaii and Aleigh still has some stranger anxiety even around friends. We went on a movie tour at a ranch where they have filmed some big name movies. Right from the get go people start watching. We have to change their diapers. We have a tool bag in the back of the car with everything needed, diapers, wipes, changes of clothes, rash cream, snacks etc. just in case we forget it in the diaper bag. I change one then we switch kids and I change the other. The whole tour Aleigh wanted to walk as much as possible. Jake had to chase her around while I wore Amelia in the baby carrier. Amelia was squealing the whole tour while Aleigh was screaming every time we saw a cow, horse or bird, which was often. No wonder how many stares we received from the bus full of people.

We decided to attempt to eat at Outback steakhouse. From the get go we receive more staring. From Aleigh who waves at everybody and is demanding to walk on her own in a restaurant where she has no idea where she is walking and keeps walking in front of people even when we are guiding her and holding her hand. Then to the high chair dilemma. Do we have 2 high chairs, or 1 chair and hold Amelia, or 1 chair and let Aleigh sit in a booster seat? We decide on one high chair and a booster seat. Well we decided to put Aleigh in the high chair first and hold Amelia. Aleigh was taking her kids menu, crayons, napkins, coasters and swishing them around the table and throwing them on the floor. We gave Amelia some toys too. She constantly kept throwing them on the floor. We recieved I don't know how many "you have a toy/item under you" by I don't know how many people.

We then receive our meals and guess who else wants to eat with us? Amelia, so Jake gives her a bottle while trying to eat his salad with his other hand while Amelia is trying to grab at his fork. Meanwhile Aleigh has a plate of some of our salad and bread. She of course doesn't want the salad. Instead she thinks the plate is a drum set. When Amelia was finished with her bottle we get a 2nd high chair and put Amelia in if. Well, Aleigh was then making a huge mess so we decided to move her to the booster seat. Our main meals come out and Aleigh was then sliding out of the booster seat and almost falling under the table almost the same time as Amelia is sliding down in the high chair and crying because she couldn't lean back without sliding down. All high chairs do not fit 7 month old babies apparently. So then Jake holds Amelia again while we try to get Aleigh just to sit in the booth. Every couple minutes she starts to stand again so we have to remind her to sit again. There was a baby in the booth behind us, so she gradually would make her way to a stand so she could wave and stare at the family behind us. Do you ever feel like you are being watched? Well you probably are. At one point Aleigh gets into my diaper bag. I didnt even realize it was next to her. Next thing I see is Amelia's little baby shoe is slammed down on top of Aleigh's plate of food. Lovely. Thankfully since Amelia isnt walking a baby shoe really isnt dirty but still clean feet even dont belong on a table especially not a plate of food. Apparently Aleigh got Amelia's shoes out of my bag. Nice, that will make for some rubbery tasting food.

After lots of giggles, screams, random crying for no reason, squeals and food being dropped because Aleigh doesn't want it, 2 empty high chairs along with 1 empty booster seat, and dirty fingers smeared all over the table we finally finish our meal, pay, and then leave again with our 1 yr. old walking in front of waitresses and waving at them as she passes. We are quite the sight to be seen. It is a little stressful at times. Sometimes we wonder how we even get food in our mouths. Sometimes we are so stressed that it is hilarious and we both just crack up laughing at the scenario. It is a lot of fun though. We love our kids, we love our life. We wouldn't have it any other way. We are the "crazy" people who have 2 kids just under a year apart, our Irish twins.

The perfect pair

Amelia is in that stage of dropping things to have you pick them right back up. Well Aleigh is in the stage of wanting to hand things to you over and over again. Guess what? They are the perfect duo. Amelia drops an item, Aleigh fetches and gives it back to Amelia and they can entertain each other doing this while I sit back and get a minute breather.

Amelia is now a crawling pro. She follows you all over the house. She also knows the nightly routine pretty well. When she hears the bathtub faucet on here she comes crawling in ready for her bath. She is also pulling up to a stand on anything that comes her way. If you are laying on the floor watch out unless you want a hand full of hair ripped out of your head. She thinks hair is a great thing to grab onto to pull up to a stand. Haha that's ok it grows back.

Jake has been applying for a lot of jobs recently. He had one job offer, but the job itself didn't seem right for us. Right now we are waiting to hear back from a job in Las Vegas, Louisville Kentucky, and Salt Lake City. The job we really thought would work out didn't. This made us very confused and didn't know what direction to go next. We finally realized the meaning of God's will for a person.

God's will is for you to do something that makes you happy as long as it is not sinful and as long as nothing in the Bible contradicts what you want. Before we were constantly thinking what does God want us to do? Well if there is nothing wrong with that option and God didn't close the door then more than likely it is in God's will, you just have to decide if you want to take it, if it would make you happy. Knowing this now, it is so much clearer what path we want to take. If we start to take a path and the door is closed it obviously is not the right path. If the door stays open and you are trying to follow God then it is a good path. Now we are testing the paths. We will see where they lead. Wish us luck!

Bye bye bedtime cuddles

It has been a long time since I have updated everyone on life changes, so here we go!

Aleigh for the past month has been trying to get her way and stay awake when it is time to sleep. Starting about 7 months old I found that holding her until she was sleeping worked best. We also off and on tried just putting our hand in her bed because she liked playing with our hands while falling asleep. 90% of the time she was held though. Now she will shove your hand away, try to climb off your lap, cry and scream and turn while being held etc. We have decided since she no longer wants to be held and is just going to throw a tantrum it is now time to put our foot down and when it is bedtime it is bedtime. If she is going to cry one way or the other then she will learn to fall asleep on her own. We are going to go in every so many minutes and tell her it is OK, mommy and daddy are here but it is time to go to sleep then give her a kiss and leave again. Tonight it took 35 minutes. Hopefully this will work.

Tonight when we were reading a book before bed Aleigh picked out a book that has different textures to feel. It was the cutest thing every time I turned the page without even prompting she would grab Amelia's hand and make Amelia feel the texture. Cute kids, she is such a good big sister already.

If I am smiling really big at Amelia, Aleigh has started doing the same, she will crouch down and give Amelia the cheesiest smile she can muster and Amelia just smiles right back at her.

Amelia has started to pull herself up to a stand this past week and the week before she learned how to crawl on her hands and knees. If you are on the floor trying to do something beware of the baby she will now climb all over you, pull your hair, eat your nose and stick her slobbery wet finger in your eye. I love my little baby wrestler. Her two favorite hangouts are the backyard and the bathroom. If the back door is open you better believe she will be out there soon. If you put her on her bedroom floor while changing Aleigh's diaper next thing I hear is pounding on the bathroom scale.

Its pretty neat that Aleigh and Amelia learned the exact same week, 32 weeks old, how to crawl and the very next week they both learned how to pull up to a stand. It will be interesting to see if Amelia also starts walking at 9&1/2 months. Not sure if I am ready for that!

We found out this last week the new update on the place we are living in. We were originally told that we would have to move out by the time our lease ended, that was the end of May. We never heard from anyone as to if we could sign a new lease. Well we finally heard and more than likely the bank will sell the place. They said we will have to be out in about 3 months but they don't know specific dates yet.

Happy Mothers Day!

Happy Mothers Day to all the moms out there. Today can be tough though. Hard for the people who have lost their moms, for the women who desperately want a baby but it just isnt happening, and it is a tough day for the moms who have lost a child or baby. Those people need a little extra love on a day like today. I am thinking of everyone I know who fits in those tough spots. You are all amazing.

I am so blessed to be a mom to 3 kids, 1 in heaven and 2 right next to me. Being a mom is the best thing. At times it can also be the hardest thing and I am only 18 months into it. After I had Aleigh I worried about every little thing. I felt like I was always doing something wrong. I googled everything to see what was normal, what I should be doing and comparing my parenting to other moms. I felt like everywhere I went someone was watching and critiquing my mommy skills. I also felt like most other moms were comparing my baby with theirs as far as milestones go but also comparing personalities. If I said my baby is crying and fussing and won't sleep through the night they would say well you are doing this and this wrong like it was my fault when I was already doing everything humanely possible to change things.

I since have learned how ridiculous I was being. Every baby is so different and if they want to do something they will on their own time. With my 2nd child if the paci falls on the floor...that's ok a little bit of germs is ok for the body. If she doesn't sleep through the night...that is ok because she is a baby and one day will sleep so soundly she won't want to wake up for school. If she isn't held every minute of every day...that is ok because she still knows I love her even though she is not being held. If she doesn't have bows in her hair, or socks or shoes on her feet everyday...that's ok because she is seriously adorable without them and who needs shoes when you can't even walk anyways. We have to stop perfecting our kids and just let them be kids.

Mommy wars are ridiculous. Breast vs. Formula. Home school vs. public schools. Stay at home mom vs. Working mom. Baby wearing vs. Stroller riders. Baby led weaning vs. early solid feeding. Girls ears pierced vs. non pierced. Circumcision vs. not.  Co-sleeping vs. Them sleeping in their own space. The list seriously could go on and on and on. We need to stop comparing with each other because for 1. What are we teaching our kids? To compare with others, like you aren't good enough. 2. Celebrate in your child because they were made in the eyes of God and they are perfect for themselves. Nobody is perfect and every person is unique, babies included. Let them be themselves and stop comparing.

In all honesty moms you are all amazing. Stop being so harsh on yourself. You are doing a fantastic job! Enjoy your kids while they are kids and the only way you can do that is by taking it easy on yourself. Being a mom is the hardest job, we worry, we want the best for our kids and that is what makes us so fantastic. I know I think I am pretty darn fantastic so start thinking those things about yourself. It can teach our kids to learn to have good self esteem and not rely on what others think of themselves.

Happy Mothers day! I love you mom, Oma, my 2nd mom Pam, and all the other mommas I know. You all rock!

Elevators and new friends

I have to say I have the sweetest little girls! Yesterday we had to spend an hour at a Dr. appointment and Aleigh was so well behaved. We spent about 30 mins. waiting in the waiting room and she just sat in a chair by herself the whole time quietly watching and smiling at everyone a couple times she wanted to get on and off the chair again. The next 30 mins. we spent running the halls and taking the always fun elevators. Everytime the elevator door would open she would run for it. Yikes! A year from now I will have 2 kids bolting this way and that. She made probably 50 friends in that 30 mins. She used to have bad stranger anxiety where if someone just looked at her she would cry. Over the past month it has gone away completely. Now she just gives everyone the goofiest grins she can muster up.

Amelia just had her first little bit of carrots, her first vegetable, and loved it! She has also started babbling a little and is talking up a storm these days. Yesterday we were trying to watch a movie but we couldn't hear most of it because she was just gabbering away. So cute. I believe she is trying to catch up to Aleigh.

Aleigh is getting there on the talking. Her words still don't really sound like words but I can tell what she is trying to say by the actions she is doing. Sometimes she will say dow-while getting down off something. She will say ah da-when she is all done with her food. She has said Bayaya while pointing to her favorite food, a banana. She will sometimes say yeah when i ask her a question. She has said mil several times while standing with her hand on the fridge wanting milk. Those are the words she has added in the last month. At least we are getting somewhere! So proud of my girls!

On Wednesday we will be in Tulsa! I cannot wait to see everybody!

Jiggly belly

The pink eye is almost gone I believe today will be the last day using the medicine. But Amelia is now sick :(  she has extreme congestion and just a tiny spike in temperature at times. Poor girl she just sounds and looks awful.  :(

Some things I have realized the last week:

Apparently God gave moms extra jiggly belly's is so it can be a fun drum set for your toddler.

Aleigh has to have music playing for bedtime and now Apparently when I tell her it is Amelia's time for nap or bed, she runs to Amelia's bed and turns on the music machine under the bed.

When Amelia was just born I thought it was harder trying to put both kids to sleep at the same time. Now that Amelia is almost 5 months old it is now harder to get them both to sleep at different times. One is always waking the other.

I always wondered why everyone who does yoga wears skin tight clothes. After a run on the beach I now know why. Next time I go to a yoga class, which more than likely will be never, I won't have the embarrassing moment of everyone behind me getting a show.

Sickness really affects your running goals. One week off is a nightmare and even then you just don't have the energy.

While running it made me laugh when I saw two women running together, one was fit, one not so much. The fit lady was talking up a storm, the other lady was practically gasping for air and throwing in a"yeah", "uh huh" then gasping for air again. I think it is great that she was exercising as it takes some guts to get out there but I thought it was funny because I have been there and I could practically hear her thoughts and she was saying "Can you not hear me dying here? Please stop making me talk, you are making it way harder. I am never going to run with this person again."

Aleigh can now take off her own diaper which means I need to leave pants on her, or a onesie.

Amelia can now roll to where she desires. She was eyeing a toy halfway across the room, it took a couple mins. and about 5 rolls and there she was playing with the toy.

Sickness

The last week all 4 of us have been sick in one form or another. Living in Hawaii we thankfully don't get sock as often. Well it caught up to us. 2 little ones with pink eye and I believe a bit of a cold. 2 big babies (Jake and I) with a lousy cold and sinus infections. Thankfully we will all get better eventually!

Things we have learned recently,

•To get an appt. With your primary care Dr you have to call 4 months early.

•Do not pretend like you're kids stuffed animals are kissing your baby unless you want your 16 month old constantly pretending also but instead of kissing the baby the stuffed animal is smacking the baby in the face.

•If you let your 16 month old "carry" the baby, she will want to do just that every time she gets the chance to wrap her arms around the baby. Which in turn makes your arms very sore having to help hold the baby while crouching down low enough to let your 16 month old think she is walking and holding the baby.

•Babies learning to eat solids is quite cute and very messy. Don't remember it being that messy with my first.

•Apparently if Amelia starts crying while putting Aleigh to bed that means we get to skip nap time and help sister instead.

•cutting out sugar and bread completely from your diet really helps u lose weight. 13 days later and I have lost 5&1/2 lbs! I only cheated two of those days when I was really sick I had 1 biscuit, a can of chicken noodle soup, some popsicles and a little bit of cold ice cream.

•Nyquil helps you sleep really well. Too well really. I didn't even remember when my 4 month old woke in the middle of the night.

Now time for some rest while I can.

Love, Jen

Life in the day.

Thought I would make a post about how my day goes on the days when Jake works. One day I will look back on this post and smile.

I wake up a little before 7am and usually Aleigh senses I am awake (even though I am extremely quiet) and within 5 mins she also wakes up. Sometimes I try not to breathe loudy in hopes it will get Aleigh to sleep longer and I can get some alone time. Never works. After I get Aleigh out of bed, change the diaper and if she leaked also her clothes and sheets. We then try waking up the sleepy heads, Jake and Amelia. Usually only Jake wakes, Amelia will normally sleep an extra 30 minutes.

Another way Aleigh is just like me is she is a big breakfast lover. As soon as she wakes she is ready to eat. Don't blame her, I am too. So I make some breakfast for the 3 of us. After eating mini sleepy head has woke up and is searching for her bottle. Amelia gets fed and changed.


I then clean up the kitchen mess from the day before, as best as I can while having Aleigh try to get my attention or pulling everything out of the cabinets, or taking things out of the dishwasher, or trying to climb up my legs into my arms. I have such an amazing hubby who also helps as much as he can while having a baby or toddler who is also demanding attention. Usually only half the kitchen gets clean.

Next we wrangle Aleigh to brush her teeth. She likes brushing her teeth but she now thinks it is a game to run away and be chased when we need her. What a goof. Now Jake and I get to take care of ourselves. Change clothes, shower etc. After all that it is usually about 9:30. Amelia is now ready for nap #1.

2-3 days a week I go for a run. On those days we usually go to the beach so I can run on a flat surface. Where we live has a bunch of large hills. I usually go about 9-9:30. We get home at about 10-10:30. I take a quick shower. By 11 it is Aleigh's nap time. She sleeps anywhere from 1-2:30. After spending about 30 mins. getting her down for her nap I then make lunch, which is usually more like dinner as Jake is at work for dinner. Jake and I then take turns between feeding Amelia and feeding ourselves. Jake goes to work and Amelia is ready for her 2nd nap at around noon. Amelia has become pretty hard to get to sleep. Some days it takes 5 minutes and she falls asleep on her own. Other days it takes an hour filled with piercing screaming no matter what I do.

Some days I then have an hour or longer to myself to relax. Other days as soon as Amelia falls asleep Aleigh then wakes back up. It is now Aleigh's lunch time. Then about 30 mins after she eats Amelia wakes and is ready to eat. The rest of the day is filled with lots of laughs, play, tickles, crying, many diaper changes, singing, dancing, hugs, kisses, chasing each other, teaching Aleigh to be gentle to Amelia, praying over owies, reading a gazillion books, playing outside, talking to family and friends, cleaning up spit up, petting and climbing over Kea the dog.

Dinner time is the hard meal to get Aleigh to eat. It is usually the meal that includes veggies. Instead of eating her veggies Aleigh likes to feed them to the dog. I believe this is the trade to use the dog as a jungle gym, Aleigh pays the dog with veggies. It is then bath time.

Amelia is then ready for bed around 6pm. This is the hardest time to get her to sleep. Usually Aleigh is also getting sleepy around this time so they are both crying and cranky. I try and help Amelia to sleep but Aleigh also wants to be held and screams out of jealousy. After maybe 45 minutes Amelia is asleep and then it is Aleigh's turn. She is almost always sleeping by 7:45. I then finally take the time to use the bathroom as I realize I have been holding it in most of the day without time to go.

This is also where my chocolate addiction comes in. After a long tiring day chocolate does my heart good. I then partake in some sweet yumminess, sit back and watch about 15 minutes of TV. or I check Facebook or surf pinterest. Amelia usually wants to eat about this time. Jake then gets home about 8:45. We then spend a little time talking and go to sleep. Amelia wakes us 1-2 times a night to eat.

My days are exhausting but being a stay at home mom is a dream job and I love every minute of it. I am so thankful I am able to be there with my girls all day. Yes sometimes I am desperate for a break. A break I never really get. Jake tried his best to help but with a 16 month old and 4 month old they take up both our arms, minds and hearts every minute we are with them. I never get a true break but in a couple years, I will. In the meantime God is helping give me the strength to get through the hectic days. Just because my days are a little crazy doesn't mean these aren't the best days of my life.